


Those Weasley Boys and Their Porn

by femmenerd



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, M/M, Possibly Pre-Slash, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-15
Updated: 2008-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-12 03:18:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1181266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femmenerd/pseuds/femmenerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set early Book Six. </p><p> </p><p>  <i>Um, Ron, let's just not talk about this in future...to anyone.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Those Weasley Boys and Their Porn

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ [here.](http://femmenerd.livejournal.com/309578.html)
> 
> Not THAT slashy, other than the tandem wanking...

“Bloody hell!” Harry heard Ron exclaim as he entered the twins' room. But then, Ron said that all the time. All the same, Harry felt the need to inquire. Be friendly, a good guest and all that. 

But when George thrust the photo they were looking at Harry's way, there was very little he found he could come up with by way of comment. Instead, a lump formed in Harry's throat just as a bulge tented his trousers.

“Brilliant, eh?” Ron said.

“Um,” Harry replied. “Is that—?”

“—her wand,” Fred supplied, grinning. “Amazing what you can do with vibrating charms, really.”

“Witches,” George agreed. “They've got it made.” 

“Yeah,” Ron sighed. “Wanking's such _work_ for us blokes.” This observation sent the twins into a simultaneous fit of laughter and teasing, having largely to do with their own assessments of their younger brother's stamina. Harry, on the other hand, was busy thinking about how little it would take for himself to, ah, accomplish the task at hand, with such an image burned into his mind. Then his traitorous thoughts took an unsettling and unbidden turn toward his companions' little sister. So discomfiting was this thought that Harry didn't hear Ron at first when his friend tried to change the subject. “Never seen any Wizarding porn then, have you, mate?”

Harry blinked. “What?”

“What about dirty Muggle pictures?” Ron asked.

“I wouldn't know!” Harry answered, flustered. “I mean, I was only eleven when I went off to Hogwarts,” he explained. 

“Right,” Ron said, blushing furiously. Harry was just beginning to wonder what kind of things _Ron_ had seen already by first year—he did have five older brothers after all—when Ginny's voice rang out and they all jumped. 

“Mum says you lot need to come help in the back garden,” she began, pulling at the door and making a terrible racket. “Why've you got the door locked?” Ginny asked impatiently after kicking it a few times. “Always keeping secrets from me, you tossers. Probably looking at smut again, I'll wager.” Harry felt his pulse speed up at that. _Ginny...wands..._

But then the twins shoved the incriminating photo into a desk drawer and Ron was opening the door—the door Harry didn't remember locking. Probably meant the twins had some kind of special privacy charm set up; they were quite ingenius, those two. Ron pulled the door open so quickly that Ginny, who'd been holding onto the handle, was knocked to the ground on her bottom. She squawked, and muttered some unsavory words in the general direction of all of them until she saw Harry standing there open-mouthed. 

“Sorry, Harry,” she said, brushing herself off as she stood. “But as for the rest of you—” Ginny didn't get to finish her sentence though, because Fred and George hoisted her up between the two of them and started in on a raucous chorus of “But she's a jolly good fellow” as they Weasley-handled her down the stairs. 

*

Later that night, when Harry was tucked into his cot and Ron was tossing fitfully in his bed, Harry tried _very hard_ not to think about what he'd seen earlier. Tried not to think about witches diddling themselves. About Ginny...

It was all to no avail, however, because then Ron said, “They've got loads of that stuff, Fred and George.”

“Huh?” Harry asked, but his heart rate made it clear that he knew _exactly_ what Ron was talking about. 

“Porn,” Ron said quietly. “And lots of it's far better, I mean _worse_ , than that one we showed you.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah,” Ron went on dreamily. “Dunno where they get it all. I mean, probably some of it's left over from Bill and Charlie—you should _see_ some of the hairdos people used to have—”

Harry was not all that interested in what kinds of hairstyles might be depicted in the rest of the twins' stash. So. “Worse?” he heard himself ask. 

“Sure,” Ron replied. “They've got stuff with wizards in it too. You know, with witches...sucking...on them and such.” It was very dark. Harry was fairly certain that Ron couldn't see if he just...adjusted himself a bit. 

Ron kept talking. “They've got plenty with people doing it in normal ways. Some of them are strips, so you can see the whole thing,” he said knowledgeably. But still, Harry noticed, in a whisper-tone. 

“That makes sense,” Harry whispered back. His hand was still on his cock. 

“But,” Ron continued, “they've also got a _lot_ where blokes are shagging girls in their... _arseholes_.” Ron's voice went significantly lower at the end there. Harry's cock got a lot harder too. He bit his lip. 

“That's...disgusting?” Harry said after a moment.

“Yeah,” Ron answered noncommittally, and Harry pretended he couldn't hear a distinctive rustling amidst Ron's bedclothes. “ _My_ favorites are the ones with lots of tits in them.” 

“Lots?” Harry choked. “Like more than one witch?”

“Sometimes,” Ron murmured. “But really, one witch is just fine by me. Especially if she's got really perky—” He trailed off and Harry was reminded of what Hermione's chest looked like in her swimsuit. It made him feel weird. But he'd bet galleons that Ron was thinking about it too. Harry could hear a rhythmic sliding sound in place of Ron's voice then, like skin against skin. He didn't look over to inspect, just grasped his own cock firmly at the base and squeezed. He did wonder though—was Ron's _bigger_ —?

Thankfully Ron started up again, despite the fact that he was panting rather heavily at this point. “Some of these girls just go _crazy_ when their tits are being kissed. Or sucked,” he added. 

“That sounds—” Harry started, rubbing his thumb in circles over the head of his cock where it was wet.

“And if you lick them down there—” Ron fairly screeched. “God, I hope that really works,” he breathed.

Harry nodded in the dark, starting to really stroke himself in earnest. He wanted Ron to keep talking; he really, really did. 

“The best part though,” Ron said, answering Harry's prayers, “is the _noises_ it looks like they're making when they...you know. Moaning and squishing up their faces like they _want it_. Like they really, really want dick. Like they want it like we—” And then _Ron_ was making sounds. Not too loud. Just one long groan. 

So that was it for Harry then, too. He came all over himself, spurting messily into the palm of his hand. 

Then Ron and Harry were both quiet for what seemed like hours. 

“Harry?” Ron said finally. 

“Y-yeah?” 

“We are _never_ telling Hermione about this, all right,” Ron whispered fiercely. 

Harry couldn't help it. He barked out a laugh. “Do you usually tell her about it when you wank?” he asked. 

“Of course not!” Ron answered. “The _porn_ , I meant. Don't tell her about the porn.” 

“Okay,” Harry assured Ron, though he really couldn't imagine why he'd be telling Hermione about that either. It wasn't like Harry was innocent here, nor was he in the habit of selling out his best mate. His best mate who he'd just _wanked with_. 

“Um, Ron, let's just not talk about this in future...to _anyone_.”

“Deal.”


End file.
